Life

So, like the John Lennon Song "Life is what happens while you are busy making other plans" I was cooking along, procrastinating while I perused my navel and imagining that I was going to come to some conclusion about my life plans and I had what the doctors say was a Gall Bladder attack and They scheduled a surgery on Oct 30 ... a week before that date I had a terrible Anxiety attack (my first in my memory) and my face got red and pulsing and my blood pressure shot up and my stomach was upset and I was shaking. Sooo I called up and canceled the surgery until I could get more information...Today I went on the Mayo Clinic site (Andrew helped me with that) and informed myself about Gall Bladders and what you can do with them...so I feel much better about the surgery now and I will reschedule it asap. I was really scared...just didn't have enough information...I am now convinced that I will need to do it...anyway, it will let me procrastinate my life plans just a little bit longer! Any Port in a Storm!!

Goodbye September, Hello October...

So, I missed all of September...I went on September 8 to Pennsylvania to visit with Andrew and Melissa and came home the night of the 15th...then I got a cold right away which was a corker and lasted and lasted through the whole month of Sept. I finally went to the doctor on October 6 and got some antibiotics and cough medicine...so this is the first time in almost a month that I am once again human. Today is my Birthday and I feel very lovely...had a lot of calls this AM with songs and I am going to the beach and asking the waves about how to proceed with my life...Today I am 73 years old...who would have thunk it??? My plans for my life never included old age and yet here I am right in the thick of it and feeling pretty much fine and dandy. I just have to decide what to do next...I tend to float. I just have to gird my loins and leap into the next thing. I always am able to do that eventually, though I do seem to need to hang around the edges and think it over for a while. I will be teaching at Otis and UCLA in the Spring and so I will have a little money for that...it is gratifying to be invited to teach. I need to contact Santa Monica College and set something up there. I am enjoying embroidery and my personal inspiration books that I keep. I spent some time gluing inspiring photos into my ART, FURNITURE and SCREEN books...Maybe now I will actually MAKE some Art that will be inspired by them...Maybe...No...I must be more positive and sure about my intention to actually proceed with my Art...OR I need to stop dreaming about it...Maybe. Here I am, Carole Maybe Free...undecided as usual...Well, Today is my Birthday, so I do not have to do anything that I do not want to do, so I will get on the stick tomorrow...No Guts, No Glory...Shit or get off the Pot...Spit in one hand and Wish in the other and see which one gets full first...I won't think about this today, I'll go crazy if I do...I'll Think about this tomorrow...after all, Tomorrow is another day....The end.

August is here and gone

So, it is almost the end of August and nothing much going on EXCEPT...tearing up my bathroom (urged by Melly and performed by Melly assisted by Liz and finally Me) AND re tiling the shower with broken dish and tile Mosaic and Grouting and Grouting and Still more Grouting that is not done yet...The grouting takes a lot of time because a. it is vertical b. I am using a very dark grout and c. There are 3 dimensional objects to deal with...BUT IT IS SO COOL!! Everyone who has seen it has said "Wow" And, Tanya said it was really an Art Piece It changes the whole house! Also, I got a brand new back door...the old one was bending when you closed it and also it would not close all the way...so I am very excited about my new door...If I can figure out how to fix up the Garage and the Roof I will be very happy...working on that now...Also I got a new job for Melanie Griffith and Antonio Banderas designing a tile room to be used as a pottery studio...I have learned even more about tiling doing this and I think it will be beautiful as well as safe and practical to use. Andrew and Melissa came for a visit and mostly just went through my garage during their time with me...2 days...and I will get some hang out time when I go to Pennsylvania in 2 weeks for the wedding of her Father and Suzette...REALLY looking forward to that!!! Life is good and very worth hanging around for...Can hardly wait to see the next step...always an adventure just around the corner!!! I will be 73 in October and it is nothing like I imagined 73 would be when I was young...I didn't think it would be any fun...and it IS!!!

Time flies when you're......

So much time has passed...I have been really busy with packing up the house with an eye to selling it OR fixing it up to be more liveable...if I stay, I want to do Mosaic in the bathroom, Kitchen and front porch...The Mosaic stuff will be the hardest to sort and part with...it is a collection that I have been working on for years and years (maybe 20, certainly more than 10) It is horrifying the amount of stuff I have thought to make Art with...and the BOOKS!!! I have packed 36 boxes of books and discarded several hundred in the process. They are all Art books and I have learned whatever was inside, or lost interest in that particular form (for now). Anyway, I will try to sell them although experience has taught me that my selling skills are lacking...a lot. Andrew and Melissa will be coming from Pennsylvania for Stephen's Birthday in August and they have promised to get all their stuff out of my Garage so I can assess it as a storage space while getting ready to sell. Also, they have given me a ticket to Pennsylvania for September and I will attend the wedding of her Father and his Lady, Suzette. I am making their gift which I will not disclose here in case they read this. Anyway, back to the saga of the declutter and the move. The reason I could release so many books is that I finally realize that I am able to do most of the things that are in them and also that I no longer need a crutch to create a class or to copy a design, etc. I can simply draw a design or create from scratch anything that I want to do. I know how to work in so many areas of Art...It is amazing that I did not start the process (really) until I was in my 50's. I was awed by Artists, but did not know I was one until then. I really need to write about things that I know...and also my own quest may possibly encourage or help some one who struggles with their own shyness about themselves and their abilities. I just went to the NHHS reunion Picnic on Sunday, the 29th of June and got to see old friends...we went to Bob's after and I had a Memorial Hot Fudge Sundae...I enjoyed EVERY spoonful...I must say, however, that Ice Cream has changed since the 50's...it is lighter somehow and more airy...the old ice cream was more like homemade...dense and rich and much more creamy...also there was a lot more and thicker and more wicked hot fudge then. Everything changes while you are riding the waves of your life...still the Hot Fudge Sundae was yummy and I did indeed enjoy every bite...After the reunion I have thought about Aging and how, if you could not keep track and there were no mirrors that mostly you would not know how old you really were...sure, there are aches and pains and leaping from rock to rock on a hike is but a memory, but the Carole self that I knew in l953 is still alive and well inside me and sometimes I do not know that I am 72.
Another thing to report is the statue I am posing for with Tanya Ragir. She is doing a series of women's bodies of various ages and I am the 72 year old model. It is a nude statue and it looks exactly like me...I had to get over myself and my little ego stuff about fat and creases, etc. It is powerful and really womanly...makes me realize that I am not dead yet so I better get my ass in gear and Live, Live, Live!!!! After all, in October I will be 73...if things were different I would not know that...and, except for not being able to leap from rock to rock I would not know about October, I would not know my age will be 73...I would just be the Carole self I have always been...wouldn't that be loverly????

So much time has passed!

I just realized that my last posting was in October, 2007 and now it is January, 2008! Time really does fly, whether you are having fun or not. Well, there was my Birthday...72! Jeez. and, of course, Thanksgiving...and Andrew and Melissa came and took me to the place I love up by the Inn of the 7th Ray in Topanga. And, we drew a little, but mostly I just sat and felt it around me...it is my Glade. I was thinking at the time that it may just very well be the last time I could go there, because Andrew had to help me to make it. My knee is just bad, but, it is much better now that I am working on it after the cortisone shot...so, maybe I could make it on my own. I will see. I have not done much with Art, but, my class in Mosaic Art at UCLA has started and, I think, will be a success. My Otis class with Don will start on Feb. 5. "Painting Historic Motifs for Furniture and Interior Design". Don has contributed a lot of work and I am not moving very fast, but I know I will haul it together in time. I am a little scared to teach the first one, as usual, but I will get over it. Also, I have pitched, been accepted, and in the catalog for Santa Monica College teaching Faux. Also, Otis has asked me to teach this Summer. I am mashing crumbs together to make a cake. I am still procrastinating about the furniture gig...but, I hope to get over myself soon. All in all, I have been productive in a minor way and looking hopefully to the future to start a surge of creativity. Here is to all the Artists and the dance with the Muse. Keep on Dancin'.....I close with this.