A Jake Story

So, yesterday I was "sitting" with my grandson, Jacob and we were playing Dodgeball and practicing soccer kicks in the street in front of his house. There is a gully (a river of small proportion, lined in cement) that runs from uphill and ends up in the Ocean. This time of year there is just a small stream about 15" wide or so in the center of the gully. Not enough to be dangerous, but enough to carry a soccerball into the ocean, never to be seen again. Well, eventually, of course, the ball went over the side and into the stream and began its journey to the Sea. Jacob was over the side and into the gully in a microsecond, chasing the ball and eventually catching up to it. Now, he had the ball, but knew he could not climb out with it. He began to throw it up the side...always a little short...trying different ways to throw. Melanie was here by now and encouraging him to try underhand throws...and...a miracle...one of the throws cleared the edge and landed in the dirt near our feet. Now, the only problem was for him to climb out of the gully...a 12-15 foot wall that is slightly sloped, but very steep. He is wearing soccer shoes with plastic cleats and tries again and again to run and get enough momentum to take him to the top...of course the cleats slipped and even if he took them off he probably could not make it all the way to the top...he never panicked, just kept trying over and over. Melanie went to get Albhy to help and Jacob and I were alone. He looked up at me and said "wait, let me think, if I am smart..." a lightbulb went off and he took off running shouting "follow me Gamma, I might need you to help me". He ran for the bridge calling "come with me". When he got there , he grabbed a rope hanging on the side of the bridge and easily climbed out. He had remembered the rope and saved himself. Why is this a story to remember? Because Jacob just turned 6 in May.

June

So now it is June and I am just fine in all ways. I have many ideas for the near future, my Trompe L'0eil class is cooking along, nice people and I am feeling the joy that comes from teaching...I always get in touch with my own creativity and energy when I teach...last week was that lovely time after a demonstration when all the students were working and they all were humming along...it is different than quiet, there is a flow in the room, an energy that is felt, not heard as everyone settles into themselves and explores what they are doing. Quiet on the outside, but working very hard inside their own heads...you can feel it, and I love it. I am enjoying the painting class that I am taking a lot...he makes me work inside myself and I am one of the people who is quiet on the outside and working hard inside...a good thing...He is a very good teacher and I have recommended him to Amy at Otis...hope that works out for him. I am accepting more and more who I am and what is important to me and what is NOT important to me. Trying to stay with all that as I go along. It is interesting to notice that I still have to do some work just to be myself. Seems so simple...isn't. Or maybe it is just that simple and I just like to worry things to death...??? I do have a very busy brain. Life is a very good thing to be in...I feel happy with myself and looking forward to my future dreams and accomplishments. If only a few things come to pass that will be good. I do not often realize how much I do and accomplish in my life...tend to go over the things I didn't get to instead..hope that can change...Would that I will feel this way, the way i feel today, for the rest of my life...yes.

What the hell happened to April???

So, it is May and I have no idea what happened to April..was there an April this year? It is mid May...I am back on Medication for my heart, but seeing someone next week for an Ablation (spelling?) Anyway, an operation to fix the part that is out of rythm...I really need to get rid of the Meds, they drag me down a LOT. Also, went to the Orthopedist for my knee, ended up seeing his associate for Arthritis, who did a Bone scan that showed something in my head ( which scared me) (I thought there was nothing in my head) anyway, had a MRI and CT scan of my brain...not conclusive. Bob Wallace (dear friend) took my tests to work and showed them to several Neurologists he knows. They concur that it does not look like a bad thing, that I should take more tests in a couple of Months to see if it moves AND....the good news is that most people my age have some brain atrophy and I have NONE!!! or at least, none that shows...I am very happy about that. I am kind of mad at myself for fiddle-farting around with my talents and time...although this is not new and I always seem to get started again with my own drummer...I will be teaching Trompe L'oiell this summer at Otis if it is a go...and Art Furniture in the Fall...hope both classes come to pass..I could use the money..and I guess I really need to tackle the furniture in the Garage...Melly said that Noah could help me to organize a sale of some kind...what I really know is that whether or not this miracle sale takes place I need to move shit out of my life so I can be free to fly...still possible to fly, I think, even at 73 almost 74...just requires some wing flapping and faith... so here is to May...the month almost gone with June creeping up on me...still wondering what the hell happened to April???

March On #2

Well, still off the medication and feeling good except my heart still out of rhythm and beating way too fast. I will need to do something about that because the doctor says that if it keeps on so fast (over l00) that it will just get too tired...I will consider something to slow it down, but I really HATE to take stuff...anyway, New News is that I finished my little Mini "Cool Globe" and delivered it and it will now be part of the exhibition at Exposition Park in April...There will be something in LA Times Magazine on April 5 and the thing will be on April 22. I will probably go, even though my part in it is so small...I really wish I had been able to do a large globe...but, I just did not have anyplace large enough to accomodate the globe and the pallet it came on. I think mine is cool, anyway. I am working on a dreaded portrait (not my thing) in the painting class with Don and it will soon be over and we will move on to landscape (better, I think) I am still weeding out and feeling not so good about my progress, but at least I do something, no matter how small...I keep telling students that you can do anything one bite at a time...I just take myself too literally sometimes. My goals for the summer are to go through the house once more, discarding, to learn ebay so I can move some of the better stuff on and to really tackle the back yard which is all grown with weeds again...(sob)...I want a yard like Hal's and Don's They are my inspiration for a really beautiful and welcoming outdoor space...we will see if I can pull that off with no money. I will also buy a lotto ticket from time to time...you never know...I could either be hit by lightening as I leave the house or win the lotto...The odds, I hear favor the lightening...but...you never know...

March On

Since last Month, a lot has happened. First, I stopped all my medication for my heart except for coumadin...The meds were damaging my liver and messing up my head...I had tremors in my hand...couldn't sign my name right and I just went to the Eye Doctor and the Amiodorone has built up in my corneas...so, no more...heart has been out of rythm for 15 days and I feel just fine. I did not realize how much the medication was affecting my mood and energy until it was gone...I think that will be an important thing for me to remember in the future...anyway, now I feel GREAT!!! I am going to try Acupuncture with Konosuke at his school...his supervisor is specializing in acupuncture as it relates to the heart. Can't hurt, might help. Even better Great News...just returned from Tanya Ragir's Studio and the statue that I posed for. She did a pressing and made me a bust of my piece that I can keep and that is G rated...very cool...she says that we can get together and do the glazing as a team and have some fun with it...I am really looking forward to that...then, I will probably make some kind of mosaic for it to live on...maybe even a fountain...fun! I am finally feeling some energy for my life and happily working away at it. Taking a painting class with Don on Wednesdays and I think that will really put me on the right track, Artistic-wise. I am still contemplating the Dog Bed idea and also Dog-sitting...reading some books, etc. I know that eventually I will move a little faster, especially now that my body is freeing itself of the toxins that have been entering it for the last 5 years...Life is good...Melanie and Albhy are extending me a line of credit so I can keep my nose above water...it is a real shame that I just got too burnt out on Decorative Painting...I know so much about it...But, I really feel all through with that part of my life and am much more willing to proceed than I have been in the past...what is next??? I will just keep getting up every day and doing what I do and I will see what that brings...Maybe I am a Lily of the field and that is OK too. Life is a grand Adventure.

Thursday

So, today I went for a test for my heart and really pushed my self on the treadmill...out of breath and puffing like a locomotive...then came here to the library. I am kind of bored, kind of stuck, kind of not knowing where I am going exactly. I need to go home and write, write, write...I always can write here, of course, but there are a lot of distractions, kids yelling...an old lady who is reading and vocalizing what she reads, etc...just minor annoyances, but I am already scattered and stuck. I will, I think just run on home and write...but first, I will use the internet to help me in my job quest...then we will see. I am not out of gas...my engine is just missing a little...need a tuneup.

Now What?

Now I just got to the library and did email and am sitting here wondering Now What? I went to City Hall and filled out an application for a job I thought I could get away with doing only to discover that some essay questions were also required and that I did not have anything to essay about that related to the jobs in question...so I can't even seem to apply for a job properly...it has been such a long time...Now I think that Dog sitting, or even (shudder) going out to the garage and painting a piece of furniture is a good idea...It seems to me that I would do a good job in an office...only thing is that there are no office jobs that I can find to apply for...So, with my tail between my legs, I will shuffle off home and ruminate about my future...It is raining, and a very grey and depressed day..perhaps not the best time to make a real decision. There is always tomorrow, Famous Tomorrow!! I will post more later.