Artsy Fartsy

So, now I have finally taken the Promote yourself as an Artist class and I learned a lot. The most interesting part was at the beginning when she informed us (surprise, surprise) that first we had to define ourselves as Artists and decide what kind of career we were shooting for...ie, Museum Artist, Gallery, craft show, Laguna, etc. That has sort of been my quandry anyway. I have been thinking it over ever since I left the class. I keep getting back to the craftier approach...furniture, dog beds, etc...maybe a canvas here and there with new ideas...but, the idea of creating a body of work with an eye to being in a museum or gallery is truly off-putting to me. I guess I just cannot stand to get in that line and wait to speak to the window person. Stupid, I guess...but when I am pressed to produce work to address a particular audience and it has to be a certain size and say a cohesive thing and all hang together, it makes me feel like not an Artist..makes me feel like I am typing with my paintbrush again...which I got used to as a Faux Finisher...but I hate the idea as a real Artist. Maybe I misunderstood...but I am pretty good at understanding what is said in classes. Also, she seemed to think that my 23 years as a decorative painter were something to hide and not refer to because galleries etc. would tend to look down on it...IF she is right, I cannot stand it. I do not want to be ashamed of the process that I have taken to get where I am today as an Artist...It seems to me that it should be all about the work, and only the work...and I feel myself rebelling from the things that the class taught me. I am sure of her sincerity and also her general knowledge of how the gallery system works. As always, in every occupation I have had, I feel stubborn about not performing for an agenda..I understand the necessity of the performance and how it is used to excel in your field...I just do not want to do it...ever. This may be a stellar trait of mine or a disaster. Still, I do not want to do it...stubborn. I came home and viewed all the work I have been doing with new eyes and based on the class it all may as well go into the trash...not a good feeling. I have to think more on all of this and get some more feedback from other sources but, right now, I feel like just chucking the whole thing and getting a job at Home Depot. Boo"_______"Hoo, as Andrew is fond of saying. I will just go somewhere and sit poutily and think this all over and lunch on worms. Tomorrow is another day.